Thursday, October 15, 2009

October 15-pre Midterm stress, post 'surgery' depression

I'll leave just a short update here:

Insurance: I've checked with a lot of fellow Crohnies, and the verdict is? You can't hope to get insurance unless it's under a spouse/parent's plan or if you work for a company that will cover you. My father is looking into extending the COBRA until we can figure something out. My main concern is being able to get through college. I don't want to drop out because I'm spending all my time in the hospital or bleeding in my bathroom. I have plans!
Now, there is medicare, but it doesn't cover any of my medication, and it doesn't cover my doctor. Sounds picky? Here is the thing, what medication works and for who is completely up to the body of the individual. Pentasa works for me, but it may do nothing for someone else. I've been on a lot of different kinds, and I've tried many different things before finding what is right for me. If it took you a year to get out of bed would you want to mess with the formula?
Also, I have an amazing doctor. Not 'amazing' how everyone throws the word around,'That shade of pink on your lips is AMAZING! My apartment is AMAZING!' No, he is a really wonderful doctor. Anyone who goes to a specialist knows that finding a good doctor is rather difficult, and that once you find him/her you do not want to let them go. It's like stumbling across a gold mine. This is my life I am dealing with here.

Health-The cysts seem to have disappeared. I went to a clinic to get some things done, had one of the worst days of my life, and got sent home with some hydrocodone and Loestrin (yes!). Crohn's is on the fence right now. There is some sort of bladder/reproductive organ situation though. It almost seems like interstitial cystitis or perpetual infection, but I can't get into anyone's office. I called everyone at Parkwest, and I called my clinic, but neither were available. Those aside, there are some stomach problems, but nothing that keeps me from leaving the house. Completely.

School-Going off of that last sentence, I have class from 9-1 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and some mornings I have a really hard time getting up. The stomach pain gets that bad. It's either/or a combination of the Crohn's or post weekend procedure. We're not sure yet. I need to call for a follow-up, and I think I have a GI appointment sometime soon. It's just slightly difficult to get up and down stairs, and my first class is on the third floor, no elevator.

It sounds like quite a bit of whining, but I do have a lot to be grateful for right now.

1. Daniel proposed to me. This is the second time. I won't go into details about what happened to the first, but suffice to say I learned what true hatred is, and its name is Leather Mrause (see what I did there? >_>). Witches aside, I love Daniel. I think I might die if he weren't here.

2. I'm not pregnant. Take the two theatre masks, cut them in half, put them together, and that is my face on this particular subject.

3. School is going much better than it did last semester. It's a lot of work, and I'm still worried about making the grade, but I think everything will be all right. I have some really wonderful teachers with equally interesting classes.

4. I can eat. Enough said.

5. I'm learning to live away from the shaky ground that is friends who "care." I deleted them from my internet social settings, and am concentrating on keeping contact with the people who are still there in spite of everything. Letting go never ceases to be so liberating.

That's it for now. It's a little bit longer than I intended, but it could go on for much longer if I hadn't made this more public earlier.


Anonymous said...

Why didn't you consider adoption ? There are legit lawyers & agencies out there (ever hear of the Better Business Bureau??) to help out. The adoptive parents would pay for everything (your MD & hospital bills, rent, etc.). That poor child being torn apart by the MD in the clinic suffered b/c you didn't stop to think of the consequences. And yes, they do FEEL PAIN less than 12 weeks.

You will have to live w/your decision for the rest of your life. When your time comes and you meet the Lord, how will you answer Him when He asks you WHY did you terminate the gift of life I gave you??

Bonnie Griffith said...

First of all, if you're going to post something of this nature on someone's blog, at least have the backbone to show who you are. You're honestly so small that you can only attack someone behind a computer screen under anonymity?

Second, the last time I was pregnant it almost killed me. Does risking your life to let a fetus grow for three months only to have both of you die sound reasonable to you?

I have two autoimmune diseases which pass on genetically. Unlike you, I have the sense of mercy and humanity to prevent someone from living the horrors of this condition after me. Rather than concentrate on what might be, try concentrating on what already is.

Also, if you're going to talk about neurological capabilities e.g. feeling pain at 12 weeks (mine was 8, by the way), then give me something more than your "good" faith to back it up. Proof is required, not conjecture.

By the way, I'm an atheist, I committed apostasy, and I find your attempt at frightening me with a negative afterlife and religious dogma nothing more than childish.

Do not post here if you have nothing but hate and censure to offer.

You might try reading this with an adult, open mind:

Anonymous said...

ever hear of abstinence if a pregnancy will be harmful to your health??? common sense. DUH! As for your being an atheist, I'd hate to be you. Have a Merry Christmas...oh wait, seeing as you are an unbeliever, guess you can't celebrate it or are you a hypocrite and do anyway???

As for a fetus feeling pain, it is a WELL KNOWN fact. google it. you will find sites that show it is true. As for an educated college student you DON'T know squat.

Bonnie Griffith said...

The Christmas holiday is rooted in pagan traditions of Europe before people had even heard of Christ. Given its actual history, the largest group of hypocrites celebrating that holiday would be Christians. The only thing attributed to Christianity for this holiday is the eponym for the holiday's name itself.

The argument for a fetus to feel pain is only on websites run by pro-life groups. In case you're unable to understand what that means, pro-life groups would post that given their bias, but there is absolutely no evidence available that fetuses are aware of any pain. If there were, the argument for abortion wouldn't be what it is today. Believe it or not, people who are not Christian have morals and a sense of humanity. That's probably why millions of people haven't been killed in the name of atheism. A shame the same couldn't be said for Christianity.

Normally, I avoid the ad hominem argument, but I feel I must point out that the only person giving any signs of being uneducated is yourself. Your spelling, grammar, and ability to argue are deplorable. Fix those before you begin to call someone uneducated.

If you have any sense of self respect then you'll avoid humiliating yourself further by keeping your bigotry off of my blog.

Seriously, get out.

Anonymous said...

My ability to prove a point is fine. You are blinded by your own self centeredness. There are non Christians that are pro life as well. Get over yourself. I have crohn's as well and a genetic disorder that could prove fatal. If I am able to be responsible w/my fertility, you can too.

There are other methods (non horrmonal as folks w/IBD are prone to clotting when they flare.--ask any GI or neurologist)to track infertile days w/o killing an unborn child. Oh, quit your "feel sorry for me" on HW. There are others worse off than yourself. I'm done as it is very difficult to carry on an intelligent conversation when you are the only one I am talking to. PS: you know me. I am in front of you daily.

Bonnie Griffith said...

1) You've been able to prove nothing except your ability to be ugly and hateful. Your points are based off of nothing BUT those.

2) I never said there weren't. You're putting words into my mouth now, and I would appreciate it if you quit.

3) I'm responsible enough. Hence, my decision to abort. Again, I have the decency and good sense to prevent another human being from suffering through genetic diseases such as these.

4) I simply ask for support on HW. If you took the time to read what I write, then you wouldn't be accusing me of such maudlin sentiments. You also might notice the many times I've said "I know there are those who have it worse than I do." Seems you can't read as well as you spit.

Any further posts from you will be deleted. That is, unless you can provide intelligent conversation and well, thought out posts. You are a sad example of the kind of person so many of us have to fight.

Anonymous said...
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Bonnie Griffith said...


Daniel Knott said...

Wow "Anonymous", as Bonnie said previously it takes a lot of backbone to be able to post without your name. And aside from the fact that you're obviously "blinded by your own need to bring other people down to your level of stupidity and cynicism" (see what I did there), it's pretty pathetic to seek out someone's personal space and harass them.

Oh and trying to send her emails from "me" and signing her up for bullshit, extremist propaganda sites is beyond pathetic. Do you really have nothing better to do with your life? Get a job, go do something constructive, or at least get some mental help because you are nothing more than a bottom-feeder as far as I'm concerned.

CJ said...

I agree with Daniel, and I want to commend you Bonnie, on the way you handled that thing hiding behind its computer. I am really sick of these creeps spewing their disgusting dogma all over everyone they come in contact with. The world would be so much better without any of them.

I have Crohn's Disease which is very mild and I admire the way you deal with the much worse condition you have "been dealt". Keep up the good work.

Bonnie Griffith said...

Daniel-Thank you. It's nice to know the number of people who read this blog that feel the same way as Anon. is limited to one person up to this point.

CJ-I really appreciate your kind words! I do agree concerning people like this as well. I can't help but wonder what else they "accomplish" during their free time.
I'm sorry to hear you're having to cope with Crohn's as well, and I hear even "mild" cases are very difficult. It just changes your life all the way around doesn't it? I wish you the best of health and happy days ahead in spite of that stumbling block. It's definitely a challenge, but we'll make it through! I know you must be quit strong yourself if you're still here living in spite of it :)

mindy said...

a classmate of yours told me about your site.
you still never answered anon's question about abstinence. I go to HW for CD, IBS, and other health stuff.

did you get to read about blood clots and how crohnies are prone to them and that the pill can increase clotting problems. seriously, read the post.

~mindy take care.

mindy said...

here's the link for you to save you time. any comments??


Bonnie Griffith said...

I find that odd considering I don't socialize with my classmates, none of my classmates are friends on any online sites, and I am not friends in real life with my classmates. Nice try.

I have read the post, but you should also keep in mind that many female Crohn's patients take birth control pills to regulate hormones in order to assist in keeping Crohn's under control. It hurts some people, and it benefits others. It benefits me in my case so, logically, I continue to take them. You cannot seriously be implying that it would be better NOT to take birth control.

Concerning abstinence, be realistic. I know not a single female, Christian or otherwise, who truly practices abstinence. I cannot count how many times I've heard, "It's okay to have sex with my boyfriend because God will forgive me later."

Do not forget that sex is a natural part of the human condition. Your religion or own personal code may not agree with people who do not practice abstinence, but I must point at out that the actual number of people who are *honest* when they say they practice abstinence is quite low. If you disagree, then look at the outstanding numbers of pregnant youth in America. And again, sex is natural, people do it, and no, it isn't wrong. It isn't irresponsible either unless you bring another life into the world completely unprepared based on skewed politics.