Deep depression is an inevitability for any seriously affected IBD patient. However, a few things have helped me cope with my own:
1) Walking. This helps me burn off some steam, and I generally feel better afterward showering away the day's frustrations.
2) Vitamin D. Is supposed to help with mood anyway, but I have been taking a multivitamin. I feel like it's been helping with mood and energy overall.
3) People. I cannot stress this one enough. It's been my bad habit of pushing a lot of people away when my condition becomes worse, but I've spent some time with a lot of old friends this summer and it feels wonderful.
I've felt so much that I want to disappear because this hideous creature is not worthy of existing in this world, but Daniel has been tremendous in helping me through these darker periods. I can't imagine where I would be without that shoulder to cry on.
An update as for how everything is going though:
I was told I had one ovarian cyst on the left side, but I've been feeling dull pain on both sides that seems to be exacerbated by intense exercise. I haven't been on birth control pills for one month exactly, and I've noticed less pain the longer I am off of them. We'll see because I liked being on them. I don't want to cause a flare up from hormonal changes either, but I can't afford to pay the doctor's bill at the moment.
I'm looking for a job because I have been much, much better physically. I've applied to a lot of places and haven't had much luck so Arby's or McDonald's are serious prospects now. A job is a job right?
As for the Crohn's itself? I feel almost 100% normal. For anyone who has been with me (and I really mean with me) this past year and a half, 'normal' is almost unbelievable.
I'm taking pentasa, omeprazole, and weaning down on prednisone (back down to 10 mg a day!). I haven't taken the last four doses of my humira. I may be rolling the dice on this one so we'll see. I suppose it's that I'm trying to stockpile in case I can't find insurance that will cover it, and another part of it is that I'm still uncomfortable with taking more than two immunosuppressants.
In any case, that's what is going on the up to the first half of July. For the rest of the summer it will be doctor's appointments, studying for chemistry and math for the upcoming Fall semester, searching for insurance and a job, and hopefully being more of a social creature than this past year has allowed me to be.
Food up to now:
Blue Diamond Pecan Thins
Scrambled Eggs in Olive Oil
That is about it.
I do cheat sometimes still, but I think most of us do. Right?